Destress Day

Last Saturday, my friend, Karen, and I took a day off from the Web World After my AM html class, we headed off to Greenbelt. We had lunch at Max Brenner's (told you it's a spoil-ourselves day), indulged in a sumptuous meal involving a lot of chocolates (yum!). We then proceeded to a nearby salon, I had a foot spa + pedicure and Kar had her long overdue facial. After a relaxing session, we went ahead with our window shopping

It was nice to spend a half day doing nothing but girly stuff. I miss that, having been around male co-workers most of the time. It was like high school, only this time, we had some money . 

Kar and I plan to have more destress days. Current list of to-go-to's:

1. Ayala Museum (Kar find a resident ID!)
2. Salon (again! this time for a hotoil)
3. Mall (to Shop for real)
4. Restaurants we haven't eaten together before
5. Eastwood City

In all those places, Im sure we'll talk loads about Sunshine, our exes, maybe some css (:P), and future plans.   We'll have anything under the sun. Those will be expensive, non-productive, fattening half-days I sure don't want to miss!

Today

Today has to be the most interesting day of the young year. It's almost magical how what I've prayed for last night came true and so much more. =) It's like God remade 'today' just so my little shallow wish could fit in. And I can't be any happier. Karen and Ms Beth can attest to this hehehe. It's been a while since I felt giddy over someone, I feel silly, smiling widely just thinking of what happened this morning. =)

Today, life's good great! =)

wassup dog?

I used to be overly scared by dogs. I won't go near one and turns icy cold whenever I enter a house with dogs. The reason for this phobia is (no, i haven't been bitten by one and thank God) I have once been chased by three (and that was a long distance chase). Funny story, my twin and I were walking aimlessly at our subdivision when all of a sudden there was a pack of dogs approaching us, they were slowly walking at first, quite giving us the tiger look (dogs!), i swear we didn't plan to run because we know that will mean war. They were obviously after us (or our meat) as they approached nearer, and though we were telling ourselves not to run, our weakening legs overruled. As you know, end of story, we outran them, but still never had my heart raced that fast (well there's another time, but that's something positive *_*). From that day on we looked at dogs and see them as carnivores. Never a pet. And that didn't work quite well because my dad is a dog person. The irony of it all was we had about 6 askals that had to be kept away/guarded whenever we roam outside the house. My dad is such a dog lover that he would readily adopt any type of dog (even the sickly ones) - we never got that, the affection - what that's about. Until we had coal. Coal is our Father's day Present, 2 years ago. He was only a baby when my twin and I bought him from a friend. I never hold him then, even if he was small and kinda cute because I was scared of him. The only reason why we bought him is because we know Papa won't want anything in the world than a new dog. I'd never forget the smile in Papa's face when we turned him over to him, with a birth certificate and all. He's our first with-breed dog and my father was happy beyond words.

It would be nice to end this post here but no, i have to tell the not-so-good days with coal. He's not the 24/7 adorable pup you imagined from your stuffed toys. First off, he has this poop-anywhere-urinate-anywhere habit during his first 6 months (that included our sala, kitchen, dining area, my parent's room etc.) I honestly felt our house was a living germfest tolerating that habit of his. Second and worst of all - he ate my clearance papers in Citibank (that time I was newly fired (hehe) and I was already about 75% finish with the signatures). It was lying innocently on a small table and he just ate it to bits and pieces. The excuse 'the dog ate my homework' literally happened to me. I was 21 and I cried like a 6 year old. I called on papa and told him about how coal just ate my 2-day effort away. It was 3 pm and the deadline I set with my friends was the following day (we had to have people from Citibank Makati to sign too), so I was throwing a tantrum when Papa while trying to put the pieces of paper together by scotch tape, told me, ulitin mo na lang anak. With fresh tears and without taking a bath I rushed to Citibank Eastwood.  Good thing, I arrived just in time to recollect the signatures but I would not want to remember how I needed to tell them why I was doing it all over again. 

Now that Coal has lived with us for almost 2 years, I've adjusted (we all have). I never gave him another chance to eat something important again (heheh). Aside from the horrible first 6 months, Coal turned out to be like the 5th member of the family. We don't have a cage for him as he is kept inside the house. He sleeps inside my parents room and eats in our kitchen floor. We bring him to the vet for checkup and buy him stuff he doesn't need (dog shirt, collar, sunsilk black shampoo, etc). We are fond of him as he is our coaley. =)

I gave him that name - Coal, because he was so black. He's the common police dog - the black labrador that looks so serious beside a swat guy. Whenever we go to a mall we often see so many Coal look-alikes, although I must say after being around a lazy, funny, quiet, and adorable black dog for a long time, they are nothing like Coal.

listening to myself

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
When time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We leave behind a life and time we'll never know again

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
And remember Please remember me
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
When time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Then remember, please remember me

And how we laughed and how we smiled
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ran so fast, we ran so free
I had you and you had me
Please remember, please remember

What’s New ?

Time flies fast. and it seems faster when you try to remember what happened & what didn't. and just before you get consumed by the speed of what was, you blink into awarenes of what is.

I could have blogged sooner - as I have so much to tell - but that's just it sometimes when there's too much going on, you can't find time to put them into words, you can't even figure out where to start, and when you come across conflicting feelings like happiness and fear, there are no right thoughts, whether conveyed to a close friend or to your blog - - - that in such case, it is easier to let them pass undocumented, have no one know about them, breathe until you know what to write.

In one of my older posts, I claimed that 2006 was my best year yet, and I truly meant that - with my web design career finally blossoming and all…but the last quarter of the year made me realize that I could have spoken too soon. Not that the last year turned out very badly, it's just couldn't be considered the 'best' especially when the bigger picture says that career is but a small fraction of my life. Anyway, it's all still good, I'm still here right? =)

Time waits for no one/nothing.

The new year seems newer because it's a start of many things for me - - - I'm joining a new company on Monday, I'm going to live somewhere else on a daily basis soon, I'm having a work schedule that favors my sleeping pattern (or my lack of it), I've signed up with a gym (!), I've upgraded my 6 year no-videocard PC to a pentium4 dual core (not to brag, but just really happy! at last! heheh) and just around the corner, a new relationship.

Scrap the last =P, too much already. Will reserve that for some other year.

It's gonna be a NEW year. Sometimes that's fair enough.

Steve Jobs’

You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

templ8 finally up =)

yehey!

saying nothing

Words are the most difficult to stifle—To desire to say something but then you can't. You just can't. And you have to hold your tongue like you understood why.

Things just got complicated. I was asked if it is serious, and i said no. I lied.

One bad news changed everything. The world can never be fair. And to be limited to just saying that is even more unjust.

It's all abstract, these words, and it would have to stay that way, here or anywhere else.

FACA in Memoriam

(author's note: these are thoughts evoked on my way home at the car backseat, watching some pink-violet backdrop passing by)

I do not know whom to quote but someone surely had theorized that death is introduced by your life's flashback - like a frame by frame review of memories handpicked by what is left of your nervous system…like a tribute of some sort to what was…like your very own 20 second movie, each segment climax worthy. I can only speculate how these flashbacks are chosen (will it be based on fondness, frequency or impact?) or presented (will it be fading in and out like a Flash Movie?). It is a shame that I can never write about it with certainty. A blog post about the last glimpse of life should be interesting, not mentioning a statcounter booster =)

Anyway here's my point, before you wonder how this blog's title is even relevant to its content… FACA has been my workplace for over a year now (since aug 1 '05). And from the time I first walked in there as the newly hired Web designer to the time I left it a while ago at 5:32 PM - so much has happened - more specifically, so much has changed. I don't even know where to begin in telling what changed - - - my work station, the people I work with, the tasks I handle, my payslip… The only consistency around that place is my tardiness and Manang's menu.

Actually, to be very honest, the growing number of empty seats around me is the only thing I pertain to when I mentioned change.

No more boss to tell me my color choice is poor, no more colleagues to tease me about my walk, no more seatmate laughing at my humongous eyebags, no more silly lunchouts and sillier thursday meets. Just me, my pc and the occasional conversation with an officemate that happen to pass by.

Surely I don't need telling that people come and go. I know that truth well enough. And I've also come to know that standing by the sidelines watching people come and go repeatedly is one of the saddest places in the world. Good thing, that you can shut your eyes or blog it out. And then feel a little better afterwards.

I thought of this list, my version of "flashbacks" of faca if faca were my only life. I would never want to forget any of these and so I am typing this down in memoriam.

~*~

(1) My first day - I was extra early 7:30am - so not me but it was so the first impression so I had to pretend I am punctual (hehe). Sir Emir gave me my first assignment - template for Mangan Restaurant, and my work, which took me 2 whole days to finish, was hideous beyond words. No arguing here. Hehe.

(2) Mini-Breaks - If there is one 4:30 break I remember avidly (not vividly, i dont remember the exact lines and who delivered it, just the punchline, natatawa pa din ako swear) it is this one:

(x-men III was showing)
James: Kung may superpowers ka ano gusto mo?
Kiko: Ako gusto ko nagiging invisible.
Jordan: Ako stop yung time.
Ley: Ako gusto kong power yung puede ko lagi malaman yung totoo from anybody. (parang sa charmed - truth spell, you could always extract the truth from someone)
James: ah kaya pag ako kalaban mo sabhin ko kaya kitang patayin tapos ikaw yung power mo nadetermine mo nagsasabi nga ako ng totoo tapos tira ko na weapons ko patay ka na. HAHAHA! (laughing minutes)
Ley (scratched head): onga noh, sige yung mabilis na rin tumakbo. =p

(3) Nahulog ko yung 2 hard drives sa timba. - One of my first ever bloopers. I can still feel my heart thumping the second I realized that I accidentally shoved two gray and important pc equipment into a pail half filled with water. I cursed so loud by reflex. Buti na lang talaga busted na yung hard drives. Kung hindi, this list must have stopped right here and I was long gone. Hehehe.

(3) My birthday - Sabay with Melvin's. We went to Gerry's Jupiter for Dinner then videoke at IO. =) Memorable yung Mr. Suave ni Kiks and Carpenter Songs ni Cath. Saka yung new pants ni melvin.

(4) Christmas laid-back season - I love the Ber months! They are the slack season at faca (at least they were in 2005). We'd be taking lunch as early as 11 drive to Glorietta and won't be back til 2. No worries when your companions include the bosses. Heheh.

(5) Daily Picture-Picture - This started with Sir E's Olympus. We'd take pictures of everybody in every angle and perspective possible. Especially when faca was renovated and painted with these matte colorful walls, ay naku wala ng work work, pose and click pose and click na lang. FACT: Our pictures took 4 CD's space. No kidding.

(6) That Saturday when we scheduled Palm Beach. This is the only Saturday I remember waking up early. I remember feeling so excited packing up and boarding the revo. I remember feeling happy being in a beach place with friends. =)

(7) Videoke nite at house - this is one of the unplanned's. Last day ni Kiko and we decided at whim to go to my place and hold our very own mini concert. Saya sa gazebo =) It felt like I have 6 rocker brothers/dancing drunkards/fun machine friends =) It was a blast.
(8) First day to teach - I was feeling nervous as usual, but Cat stayed until the PM half to accompany me (ok nag burn din sia ng cds) but still, it meant a lot =) Dun din si Dennis, Harvey and Jords. I don't know how I survived that day but I did. Thanks to 4 thoughtful friends and 1 bilao of Pancit Palabok. FYI: I remember coming out of the classroom feeling contented with what I did - - - something very rare after I talk or even stand before a crowd. =)

20 second flashback is up.

~*~

I have never planned to leave faca by choice. I've always thought that if it will happen, it will be out of circumstances I've always known are coming. But I don't know. I still enjoy Web design, I even fell in love with teaching it and I still don't mind the so-so pay…but some days, I wish I don't need to sit beside empty seats and notice once again that I'm still at the sidelines.

I have a template to finish tonight and tomorrow is another day of a busier me and a quieter faca. I may not be as happy as before but I'm still thankful that I am where I am, doing what I am doing.

Nice forwarded quote and other musings

"Here's a sweet truth : Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else."
(courtesy of Lucy, a day before her phone got stolen. Tsk tsk..)
- - -
Mama treated us at ATC today to celebrate her new credit card (hehe). First she bought us dinner at our fave restaurant - Pancake House. Then she made us choose one item we want — Papa chose a pair of brown leather shoes at Bass, Anne also chose shoes, some nice pointy black at Cinderella and I so wanted a new blouse/polo but can't seem to find anything I like anywhere. So I already told Ma she can postpone her treat for me when we passed by Powerbooks and even though I know I won't have time to read, I made her buy me three books! Hehehe.. Here are my latest literary purchases:

1. Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes
2. By the River Piedra I sat down and Wept, Paulo Coelho
3. The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman, Louise Plummer

I also almost got The Google story but Ma said to reserve it for another time. Oh well. Til the next credit card then, or perhaps til my birthday =)
—
This Monday will be the start of another job. I have my day job at FACA and my night job at a Web hosting company. Excited. Nervous. Worried. Happy. Hoping my health won't fail me. I should be able to pull it off for 30 days. Please God let me.
—
I have reasons to believe that this year is my best year yet. And I'm thankful everyday.
—
Printed in the introductory page of Flowers for Algernon:

Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye; and he who remembers this when he sees any one whose vision is perplexed and weak, will not be too ready to laugh; he will first ask whether that soul of man has come out of the brighter life, and is unable to see because (he is) unaccustomed to the dark, or having turned from darkness to the day is dazzled by excess of light. And he will count the one happy in his condition and state of being, and he will pity the other; or, if he have a mind to laugh at the soul which comes from below into the light, there will be more reason in this than in the laugh which greets him who returns from above out of the light into the den.
-Plato, The Republic

Read the novel and you'd certainly appreciate this perplex logic more. Plug: You'll find FFA at major bookstores in hot pink paperback with an illustrated mouse (rodent, not the input device)in the cover, P359 only. =) I actually have read FFA already during college as a requirement in a humanities class. Very touching talaga. Promise.
—
I always get this question, may boyfriend ka na? and I always answer by shaking my head while stifling a laugh. I don't mind being asked at all, but the follow up one-word question, bakit? is so simple and complicated at the same time that I can only answer, "wala pa e"…or sometimes if I don't feel like answering, I just shrug, though every time I have about a paragraph long reply in my mind.
—
I need to upgrade my PC! Grabe ang slow it takes about 2 minutes just to crop a hi-res image. =(
—
Hearing the song SIMPLE THINGS makes me happy, even if all the YOU pronouns are yet to be named =) I don't know why but I listen to it in the morning and it wakes me up.

LYRICS (courtesy of Helex, my tech bro)
Hey, Time won't wait,
Life goes by,
Every day's a brand new sky,
Every tear, comes to dry.

All that really matters,
In this crazy world,
Is you and I together,
Baby just remember.

The first leaves off the tree,
The way you look at me,
A thousand chiming church bells ring,
The simple things are free
The sun, the moon, the stars,
The beating of two hearts,
How I love the simple things,
The simple things just are.

So here we go,
Let's just dance,
Teach my soul to take this chance,
Put my heart, in your hands.

Out of all the moments that,
We leave behind,
Turn around and tell me,
Baby we'll remember.

Chorus 2:
The thunder and the rain,
The way you say my name,
After all the clouds go by,
The simple things remain,
The sun, the moon, the stars,
The beating of two hearts,
How I love the way the simple things,
The simple things just are

Chorus 3:
The ocean and the sky,
The way we feel tonight,
I know that it's the love,
That brings the simple things to life,
The sun, the moon, the stars,
The beating of two hearts,
I love the way the simple things,
The simple things just are.

I love the way the simple things,
The simple things just are.
Simple things just are.
Simple things just are.
—
My barkada Ai Bituin is coming home from Dubai tonight! And Teng is coming back from Cebu too. Perfect timing for a Block Reunion? I hope so! Miss them so much!